The truth is that a) we all try to make the best decisions possible using the information available at the time, and b) we all mess up. Not truly living. Real regrets are about bad choices in love, learning and loss, being held back by fear – and self-blame, Last modified on Mon 25 Nov 2019 07.21 EST. I was humbled by their honesty. After reading many answers in this thread, I’m about to change that”. There are many days when you want to quit. Wasting too much time and money in college switching majors and not focusing knowing I … I just saw a Bramblestar dysuva and now i regret trading my squirrel flight dysuva ;-; It also looks like Broken star or Tiger star. I forever fear she was in fear. Moved to France – still scary but food and life is good!”, “I used to worry about keeping up appearances but when I had a crisis ppl were so supportive”. Pretty soon you'll start to believe what they're saying and quit. Shame. But her tough life had been turned by her head into a personal failing and therefore a “regret”. As well as the many tweets like this: “That my mum died too young to see me turn from an ungrateful, truculent teenager into a person and father I hope she’d be proud of”. Not chasing your dreams. Life is short. This may fill you with repentance for your choices made and regret each act. Some will haunt us forever. These were sad, sobering, enlightening responses – big stories told in 140 words to a stranger on a Saturday night. “Not being with Mum at the end. Having left school before her exams and worked for 38 years in a job she doesn’t enjoy, she’s using this moment as a chance to address the regret, and has just bought her fourth book …, “The last 20 years have been particularly bad, no one should wake up dreading the day ahead, I thought it was all I could do, but maybe not …”. At the end of your life you won't remember any of that stuff but you will remember any incredible experiences. Take risks – they may go wrong but it’s better than regretting not having tried. Letting jealousy win. And there were some beautiful stories. You may not have as much as someone else but you can and you will if you do something about it. You make a poor career choice: There are too many people out there who studied for a degree they regret or even spent their lives pursuing a career they regret. Also – a lot of lessons to be learned here: “My regret: Going to the office Christmas party and then having to look for a new job the next day … Not my fault the boss’s wife turned out to be more than just a flirt”. Best choice ever. When I posed this question on Twitter, the stories poured out and patterns emerged. Or, that I have failed to live my life for God. It’s bizarre how we can get so offended and angry when other people hurt us, and yet repeatedly choose to torture ourselves, far worse than they possibly could, through repeated mental rehashing. But my favourite of all the replies was from @dorey1414. Dysuva (Bat) 2. Get rid of the negative and you'll live a happier life. I had casually asked a question that, surprisingly, a lot of people really wanted to answer. Generally if you haven't used something in the last year you probably don't need it (there can be exceptions of course). When you look back at your career - some decisions went good and some went bad. With the help of mental health professionals, we've rounded up the biggest regrets people have over 50. PLEASE TELL ME WHY I DID THIS LIKE CAN SOMEONE JUST LIKE IDK TELL ME TO NOT DO THIS ;m; oh well might do something with them yay? Most people spend 40 to 60 hours of their week working. As others have said my life could have been very different not having made certain choices. We always think we have more time when the reality is we're not guaranteed a tomorrow. As I sat thinking during his funeral I kept replaying the last few conversations we had. We have so many things we want to do in life yet never do. I was working. Starting tomorrow. 0. Where there’s life, there’s clearly time to turn regret around. Everyone experiences regret at some point in life, especially young people, but regret becomes a problem when ruminating over past mistakes results in disengagement with your life, career, and personal relationships. So much of life seems to revolve around making money and getting ahead, but lifestyle is a choice. So while I'm glad I have my wife and kids I still regret a few things. And most of the replies divided into six specific categories. Not bad things happening to you, or the way that life has punched you in the face: regret is a deep sorrow about something you did, or something you failed to do. I love your character and the art you get! I wanted to get a job. ©2020 Verizon Media. Very few replies were lighthearted – though I loved the ones that were …, “Being sick in my father-in-law’s hand”, “Not flying on Concorde to New York with Lionel Richie. Regret. Ten minutes. There’s definitely a lesson in there: while there’s always the possibility of regrettable rejection, it’s better than the regret of not having tried. The time to start isn't tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. All of us feel these things at different points in our lives, especially after making a “bad” decision. ‘I wasn’t there at the end’: readers’ biggest regrets in life. Fast-forward another 18 years, and I will be in the second half of my career and my kids will be out of the house. This life is all the time we have to make good choices about God. Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us in grade 4 or some other early age. Sometimes they're not as excited as we are and sometimes they're even negative. By the morning it was 360. You’ll Regret Not Making the Choice to Be Financially Free. Thank you so much for the watch . But I won’t tell you that I regret any of the decisions that I made, as poor as they might have been. One that a bar chart cannot capture. Below you’ll find ten choices you’ll regret in ten years: 1. It’s anger at yourself for having enough information to have made the right decision, but making the wrong one – ie it’s about self-blame. The best thing you can do is to take it one day at a time. Drakorax-The-Dragon. If you're doing work that makes you miserable every other part of your life will be affected. She tweeted me this: “I’m 54, no friends, or family, only 18 followers – the least on here – but I have everything I need. I also regret my life choices. He told me to learn the lesson he never learned: don't die with regret. “Too scared to risk failing at something I loved, so I succeeded at something I had no passion for”, “Not following my dream to work in radio”, “Listening to my dad when he said my voice was too weak to be a singer”. Too often we let our doubt and fear hold us back from the amazing life we all can live. Some we regret, some we’re proud of. Intriguingly, of all the replies, only two people mentioned money – one regretting a flat they hadn’t bought, one regretting a sale. Took the Savile situation for me to realise I would be believed.”, “Biggest regret.... my Grandad... abusing my brother and I ... not having the courage to disclose so I could have protected him ...”. In an age of teen entrepreneurs and endless messages telling children to “follow their dreams”, these feel like crucial lessons. It means you don't hold back, you chase those dreams. She died overnight. In April of 2012 my father died at the age of 54. Learn what regret is. Ten minutes to choose whether I wanted to raise a child. 1. 'I was kicked out of halls after one night' – your freshers' week regrets, Will you regret later what you’re doing now? Unproductive regret, where you completely blame yourself, can create chronic stress which leads to health problems. You ignore those doubts and create that amazing life. 3 months ago. Too often we let our doubt and fear hold us back from the amazing life we all can live. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Unfortunately jealousy is a part of human nature but there are some who know how to deal with it. 2) Recognize the greatest regret. I can tell you from personal experience that chasing your dreams is hard work. 2. The saddest stories were from people who had been abused – and even in 140 characters, they were terrible. I learned the hard way that comparing yourself to others only leads to bitterness and heartache. Absolutely sexy :3 . We have so many things we want to do in life yet never do. Perhaps the most common regret people have in later years is working too much – the rest of us should take note. Here are seven choices you'll regret at the end of your life if you don't do something about them today. As I made big changes in my life one way I measured my progress was comparing my results to what others were doing. Your journey is your journey and shouldn't be compared. The tweet “I regret allowing depression and anxiety to rule my life since teen years” could have been reframed as “I have a mental illness against which I have felt powerless since my teens”. You'll look up after a while and realize you're there. She died 2 hrs after I left her, it haunts me still”, “Not calling my Dad the night before he suffered a fatal heart attack, just because I had only lost ½lb and I didn’t want him to be disappointed”, “My cousin rang me on Christmas eve and I really rushed the convo because I was cooking … she killed herself on Boxing Day”, “Not staying with my mum to the very end. When we moved to Hawaii we were shocked by how much stuff we had. ... I’m finally in the right place in my life, and if it took … He wanted to take me for dinner. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, The essential guide to taking care of your mind and body. We go through life getting things and saving them, we're afraid to throw things away that we don't use. They wish they hadn’t made decisions based on what other people think Regret is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been, or … All other regrets will be overshadowed by this. Every day is a gift and we should live each day as if it were the last. Nobody said, “I regret that I got cancer”, because nobody chooses to contract the disease, therefore it’s not technically a regret. The reality is, however, there are an infinite number of reasons we should never regret any of the decisions we … Counterfactual thinking drives regret. The message: we are what we chose to be.” However, I feel it’s only through mistakes and failure in life that you can grow. Left me disadvantaged all my life. His death was a wake up call and started me on a journey where I lost 165 pounds, moved from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to our dream designation of Maui, Hawaii. I am constantly drowning in such regret, self-loathing, and depression that my life is miserable and I'm falling apart. It means that no matter how many times you fall you get back up and keep pushing forward. I wish I had made some changes in my priorities, in order to be on the receiving end for lasting positive results. Before I flew home from Chicago, I texted my college son with this advice: “The most debilitating enemy you can have is your own fear. Make changes at your own pace. 2 months ago. Whether you’re seeking parental approval or pursuing pay and prestige over passion, making a poor career choice is … 1. We're excited to tell our friends or family about changes we're making in our lives. It was encouraging that right alongside the people who regretted a life lived in fear were others who had made a change – now regretting the time it had taken to find their solution for this exact problem: “Taking far too long to realise that everyone else in the world is also imperfect and winging it – just like me”, “Worrying too much about what other people thought of me – trying to uphold what I thought were their beliefs not mine”, “I regret not getting antidepressants 20 years earlier”, “Being scared all the time. These are three of the darkest emotions any human will ever experience. All rights reserved. y 20-year-old son just moved into a fraternity house at his college in the US. You have every opportunity to make the most of the life you have right now. Start today and tomorrow you'll be closer to living out your dream. The one thing he said in those conversations was he wished he had done more. And then, perhaps less surprising, there was love: a few tweets from people regretting that they had declared their love and ended up having their heart broken, but many, many more regretting not being braver and not risking vulnerability – the regret of having been afraid. You’ll Regret Making the Choice Not to Take Charge of Your Life. All the time”. 7. 6. 2 months ago. Upon seeing my hesitation, the doctor asked me to take ten minutes to think about my decision. I play Soulless 5 on Robeats and I regret it after the first 15 seconds. Having a past full of failure is not a very good reason to kill yourself, since if you do you’ll necessarily die a failure. There are “poor” people living much better lives than wealthy workaholics. ShadowWing48. It wasn’t just big in volume – more than 300 replies – but the tweets were devastatingly honest. D: Erigawn. My 20-year-old son just moved into a fraternity house at his college in the US. 1. Joined Apr 16, 2020 Messages 1,074 Reactions 345. I’m clearly no authority on this subject, but I’d love to tell you a bit of what I saw that night. The best thing you can do is to take it one day at a time. Never regret a day in your life, “Good day gives you joy while a bad day gives you experience”. Career-choice regrets made me realise a pattern was developing … regret seems most often to be about fear. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Fear of getting it wrong, leading to an unfulfilled life, followed by self-blame for being fearful. On the final evening, I found myself alone in a horrid Illinois hotel, still thinking about my boy’s apprehensions for his journey into adulthood and how I might help him make decisions he would never regret. Ring your mother, be kind to everyone and FFS change your sheets.” I’m already regretting the shallowness of the “change your sheets” bit. Chase those dreams and create that amazing life. Although the life stories I hear as a hospice nurse are all unique, certain regrets get expressed time and time again. And then, as if in reply, I also got a set of tweets filled with big solutions. Here are 9 of the most common ones. 5. But mental health still carries the stigma that it’s a “weakness” of some sort – and the regrets played that out: “My regret: being too anxious and not assertive enough”, “I regret not coming out sooner. I can deal with most of my other regrets in life but am having a hard time dealing with this one." No Regrets: Sometimes The Wrong Choices Bring Us To The Right Places. Productive regret can help you learn to change your behavior for the future. Thread starter Monkeyking100; Start date May 10, 2020; Monkeyking100 Well-Known Member. Last month, I spent three days there trying to turn his bedroom from a fluorescent-lit hellhole into a page from an Ikea catalogue, and while making up flat-packs, we discussed his hopes and plans for the next three years … what he wanted from life, from love, his strengths, his fears, and how to approach his college years so that he could set himself up for a life well lived. May 10, 2020 #1 So I finally got a runaan which is really good for me but when I enchanted it on the enchant table because I’m impatient and I really wanted enchants I got punch 2. It took me until my 30s to figure it out. But it doesn’t help the pain to point that out. World-traveling author, consultant, and coach. -- Brendon Burchard. The six years I spent working in hospice care were some of the most profound and meaningful of my life. If a regret is defined as “feeling sad or disappointed about something you have done, or failed to do”, then it would imply these tweeters feel that living in fear is some sort of choice. If you don’t make the choice, today, to put your... 3. Dima~ 2 months ago. Am currently on 4th degree”, “For me it used to be going into teaching instead of law. They all had the same message. Start today and you won't die with regret in your heart. I was afraid and needed to go home to my kids. Accumulating too much stuff. Guilt. Might even get that tattooed on to their arms. Be grateful for your life. But what emerged is that real regrets are about bad choices. Education was high up the list – there were many more regrets to do with school and college than I would have expected. You can regret and feel ashamed about past sexual experiences and relationship heartaches, past financial mistakes and misguided career choices and bad habits and unhealthy eating which has led to illness. When I look back at some of the most painful moments of my life, I see myself sitting alone, feeling either immense shame or regret. Still at the same workplace now”. It's not going to be easy and it will take time but it will be worth it. There are many ups and downs. My unsolicited advice is to just pick something that's somewhat appealing, then adjust as you go. She now has more than 900 and is massively excited about it, starting enthusiastic conversations with dozens of her new followers. I righted my regret. All I had expected were a few variations of the classic “I regret working too hard – should have spent more time with the kids”, but nobody said that – not one person. I regret my life choices. Found one. “didn’t know I could be an athlete til I saw London 2012. If you can't control jealousy you'll definitely live a life of regret. Wasted years worrying about it”, “Worrying. “Never going to University. When you spend that much time doing something it will affect your life one way or another. Not truly living. In a way most complex, there were a lot of tweets about anxiety, and what intrigued me was the self-blame. More than once. I was a wimp in my 20s. Regret can be over things you have done or not done. By Paul Hudson. Youth is finite. Maybe these survivors passing on this single regret with such unity and clarity will encourage others to exercise that one vital control. Life is too short to spend even a single moment miserable. That stuff creates clutter, which will lead to stress. As you get older, instead of dissipating, those regrets tend to start piling up—according to a 2016 survey by life insurance company Allianz, 32 percent of respondents said they regretted major life decisions they'd made. 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